James Learns to Apparate
by JoeMerl
Summary: James S. Potter learns that Splinching is just one problem that underaged Apparation can cause. Humor, Next Generation one-shot.


"Oh man oh man oh man---"

Eleven-year-old James Sirius Potter raced up the steps of Gordon's Independent School and shot into the building, footsteps pounding on the tiled floor. The office secretary stuck her head out to yell at him not to run in the halls, but he hardly noticed---his eyes were glued to his wristwatch, watching as the seconds ticked by until the moment the bell was set to ring.

"Oh man oh man oh man oh _man_---"

It had been so much easier getting to class on time last year---one simple set of stairs down to the dining room, and he could even go in his pyjamas if he wanted to. James cursed himself silently for his stupidity---how had he ever thought homeschooling was lame, when he could now see so clearly how lucky he had been? But _no_---he had _begged _Mum to let him go to Muggle school with his friends from the neighborhood, and now here he was, paying the price every day with this mad dash to class. Ah well---just 159 more days and he'd be off to Hogwarts. Probably a bit less luxurious than homeschooling, sure, but a short walk through some hallways still had to be easier than what he was putting up with now, right?

James bent his head down and sped up, even as his legs screamed at him in pain. He would _not _be late again---not after the punishments Mrs. Othmar had promised to give him if he was. Thoughts of detention, extra homework, and suspension flashed through his mind. Worse, she might call a _parent-teacher conference_...James repressed a shudder at the thought. James had learned long ago never to leave Mum alone with another adult for so much as a second; the list of misdeeds Mrs. Othmar could give her...

But there was no way he could make it! He checked his watch again. _Thirty seconds_ until the bell rang? He moaned. He was doomed! There was no way he could make it, he would have to bypass three hallways, how could he hope---

And then it hit him, in a sudden, glorious flash. _Apparation._

Now, of course James was far too young to have learned how to Apparate. He had never even tried it before, never had anyone teach him how the spell even worked. But those facts hardly had a chance to voice themselves in his mind before they were quickly dismissed. James was an adventurer; there was no spell he wouldn't try, much to his family's annoyance. (To be fair, Mum had fixed Lily's hair, so he didn't see what the big deal was anyway.)

And so, with only the briefest of thoughts to his age or inexperience, to splinching or the possibility of popping up in the wrong place, James cast one quick glance around the hallway---not stopping to consider that someone could turn the corner and see him in a second---sped up even more, leapt into the air and spun his body around with an almighty "YAAA---"

_Crack!_

Having Side-Along Apparated once with Uncle George (a fact that had _not_ please Mum a bit), James recognized the sudden cold, squeezing blackness that enveloped him, before suddenly, with an "---AAAH!" still on his lips, he found himself flying through the air again and landing on the cold floor right in front of his class. Merlin's beard! It had worked?! Even James was amazed. He let out a whoop of glee and punched the air. Had it gone wrong at all? Had he Splinched? He had no time to check---he felt somewhat strange, maybe a bit cold from the void and somehow a little lighter, but not at all hurt, so he just ripped open the door and ran into the classroom, just as the school bell rang overhead.

_Riiiiiiiing!_

"_I'm here!_"

Mrs. Othmar, standing at the front of the classroom, turned; the rest of the class, all seated and watching her, turned around too, and all eyes went wide as they saw James stumble in. He bent over, panting, legs and lungs screaming with pain.

"James Potter!" Mrs. Othmar's voice was like a whiplash. "What is the meaning of this?!"

James could barely breathe, but he forced himself to stand up straight, grinning ear to ear. He put his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest proudly. "I'm---on time," he gasped, staring at them all with defiance in his eye.

Mrs. Othmar and the other kids considered him for a moment. Finally she spoke. "Yes, James. Correct---you are right on time, for once. But if you don't mind me asking, _where are your clothes?!_"

"Huh?!"

James looked down---and his jaw dropped to his knees. He had not splinched himself, exactly---his whole body was there, he could see that clearly---indeed perfectly, unobstructed, for while he had brought his whole body, each arm, leg and hand, he seemed to have failed at the minor Side-Along Apparation needed, and left his clothes behind.

He was standing there, in the back of the room in front of the entire class, completely and utterly nude.

"_AGH!_"

The class shrieked with laughter, and James, turning beet red from his face to his shoulders, tried to cover himself---but it did no use, their laughing just grew louder and louder, screaming in his ears. The geeky kid Brian, the bully Alphonse, the pretty girl Suzie that James was always sure to point out he did _not_ have a crush on---all were pointing and laughing as he stood there, helplessly exposed. The room seemed to be spinning as Mrs. Othmar lectured about how irresponsible he was to come to school "in the buff," the school guidance counselor appeared to ask if he was having problems at home, and then his parents were yelling at him for using magic at school while his brother and sister and cousins were somehow there, pointing and laughing with the other kids at his naked form---

"No---no---no, no, _AGH!_"

James sat bolt upright in bed, gasping, one hand shooting up to push his hair from his eyes, the other instinctively slapped him on the chest---instead of bare skin, he felt the rough cloth of his pyjamas, and as his eyes adjusted to the dark he saw his own familiar room, Quidditch posters on the wall and empty owl cage on his desk.

Panting slightly and covered in sweat, James lifted up his blanket to check that he was really completely dressed, then lay back down on his pillow, staring up at the ceiling for a moment. "I really hate that dream," he grumbled, closing his eyes and turning over to go back to sleep.

* * *

This was just a weird plot bunny that jumped into my head yesterday when I was late and wishing that I could just teleport to class. How I got this from that---well, my mind _is_ a bit strange strange. But I thought this as a magical version of the dreaded "naked in school" dream was pretty funny. ;-D And for some reason I was picturing it as a Muggle school from the beginning; I considering doing Hogwarts instead, but if he had managed that it would have been a major clue that something was off.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, and please leave a review!


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